As my thoughts turn Reno-ward--as they often do when I am meant to be
working, obeying important safety precautions for operating heavy machinery,
or otherwise focusing on the task at hand--I usually wonder what Janet
might be doing RIGHT THAT VERY SECOND. Is she fighting crime? Watching
TV? Thinking of me? Snogging her current Lucky Bitch Girlfriend?
All this wondering has led to what you see below, my version of A Day
In the Life of Citizen Reno. This section features the Janet Reno Action
Figure, a toy trend that I hope will lodge itself firmly in the hearts
(and toy-acquiring bowels) of baby dykes across this great land of ours.
Fuck Barbie--Janet rocks!
1: A Day in the life of Citizen Reno: Work
Just another day in her Florida HQ for our favorite Defender of
Justice. The day began like any other, with some face time at the
office. To do list for the day:
1. Kick Jeb Bush's ASS.
2. Send Donna Shalala flowers.
(Mental note--hose out back of pickup, Shalala's a squirter!)
Next Citizen Reno hits the books. Since she had to spend so much
time on political stuff over the last few years, she can take little
time with reading material closer to her, um, heart.
But wait!! Citizen Reno needs toss those books aside--she's got
to go pick up her date!!!
Part 2: Citizen Reno hops in her pickup for.....
An Evening Out (pun most surely intended)
Citizen Reno has been smitten with a certain former Spice Girl
for a long while (she isn't Scary to Our Gal Jan), and has been
wooing her with flowers, candy, and offers of free legal advice.
Finally, the seductive Mel relents, and the two head out for an
evening of hobnobbing at a swanky South Beach lezzie hot spot for
oysters and footsie.
Mel: "Is that a roll of lifesavers in your pocket?"
Jan: "No, I'm just very glad to see you."
||Next they hop back in the pickup for a
trip back to Casa Reno (Citizen Reno has lured Mel home with some
suave bullshit about her "etchings"--nice work, Jan!). They
settle in for the "sapphic director's cut" of Rebecca, but
soon hands start to wander.....
(there is some hot plastic
action here folks, so please, over 18 only!!!!)